 | Don
- Join
Marlo and I with special guest, ex-stripper and author, Mary
Taylor who has written a book about learning to do strip
teases for your partner. Its called Bedroom Games
and its hot! |
 | Marlo
- Hey
there everyone! Thanks for coming out! Well be starting in just
a few minutes! |
| Don-
Hi
Everybody and welcome to the Love Thing. Today we have a special
guest in the studio, Mary Taylor, author and former exotic
dancer. We will be giving away some stuff, so send in your email
address for a chance to win prizes we
won't let your address appear on the screen. Mary Taylor has
lived a fascinating life. |
|
| Don - She
began stripping at 19. She was already the divorced mother of
one and looking for a way to earn more money for her struggling
household. She stayed in the business for TWENTY-ONE YEARS!
After leaving it behind she embarked on a career teaching others
the secrets of her trade, through her company, Live Girl
Productions. She has produced a video, The Art of Seduction and
a CD, The Sounds of Seduction. Mary has also taught Peel and
Play workshops on striptease. |
|
| Don - Her
latest venture is Bedroom Games, a book that teaches the erotic
techniques of striptease for the ordinary woman, that gives them
the same seductive power of an exotic dancer.
Mary, welcome to The Love Thing. |
 | Mary
- Hello
Everyone! Nice to be here. |
|
| Marlo
- Mary
- so good of you to join us today - and what an exciting life
you've lead!
At the beginning of your
book, you mention that every women at one time or another has
fantasized about doing a striptease - though I disagree with the
comment, I was wondering if you had any words of encouragement
for the women that do fantasize about it on how to break from
the fantasy and turn it into reality. |
|
| Mary - I
think that what all women need to know is that it can be a very
scarry thing to take your clothes off in front of one man or
hundreds of men. My intention is to assist women that are
interested in doing a performance by eliminating their fears and
putting them to rest. |
 | Dan
- what about the lifestyle?? |
| Mary
- The
lifestyle can be very difficult on dancers that are in the
industry today. It has deteriorated so that the art form is
gone. ALmost like "From Stage Play to Foreplay" in
public. Too bad! |
| Dan
- I
just
want her to do it though... she's a little reserved.. |
| Mary
- The
fact that YOU want her to do it is not enough. SHE has to want
to do it. Otherwise it could be a disaster. For her. |
| Shygirl
-How
do I build up the nerve. I want to, think I can do it, but then
chicken out. |
|
| Mary - By
feeling comfortable with what you are actually doing helps a lot
in your performance. My book Bedroom Games helps you address all
the issues that come up. For example: Fear. This is a big issue
and it is very helpful to find out what it is that you are
afraid of. Such as: What if he laughs at me? What if I fall on
my butt? What if I cant stop laughing. Once you find out Why we
do what we do, it get easier. And... practice, practice,
practice. By yourself at first. |
|
| Don - I
want to know about the stripping life. An exotic dancer is a
fantasy in some peoples eyes, while in other peoples eyes, it is
barely acceptable. Also, we associate it with a nasty lifestyle,
drugs, crime, pimps etc. How did you survive, let alone prosper? |
|
| Mary
- Unfortunately, this business had deteriorated in the past 15
years. It used to be that dancers got paid very good money to do
performances on stage and had little or no contact with the
audience. Now, dancers have to pay the clubs if they want to
work and they are in constant contact with the patrons at very
close range. This has caused women to resort to higher drug use
and many prostitutes have come off the street to dance in clubs
because it is easier on them. |
| Joe
- How
hard is it to maintain a relationship while in the industry? |
|
| Mary - It
is nearly impossible to maintain a relationship while dancing
and even harder once you have left the business. The clientele
that you associate with on a day-to-day basis are only thinking
of you in one way and women need so much more. Most men cannot
tolerate the jobs of exotic dancers. |
| Marlo
- Mary
- you mention fear - fear of falling on your butt, laughing to
much ... what about body image? |
|
| Mary - Body
image is very important but not as in HOW YOU LOOK. More about
HOW YOU FEEL. For example: when I used to dance in the 80s I had
small breasts 32A to be exact. I found it difficult to compete
with the double Ds until I realized that I was a lot more
entertaining than they were. I had to compensate with my
personality and my humor on stage. Once I did that, I beat them
all out of the water. After all, men love being pampered and
entertainment. They are very easy to aumuze. |
| Michelle
- Mary,
what would you do if you had a daughter who wanted to go into
the business? |
| Mary
- I
would do everything in power to have her choose an alternative
career. And have her see other options. If you had asked me that
in 1980, I would have said it was a great business. |
|
| Don - Obviously,
the moves you make on stage are what we call art - did you ever
find that your dancing was unappreciated by those in the
audience who just want to see some flesh - how did you deal with
it? |
|
| Mary - The
only time I felt bad about what I did was when the lap dancing
came out. My performances on stage were always appreciated and I
had a following of people that would come in to the clubs just
to see me. When the lap dancing came out, no one wanted to see
dancers on stage, they just wanted them in the dark VIP rooms. |
| Did
your family and your child know how it was that you earned your
money? |
|
| Mary - My
family did not know what I did for a living until after I made a
choice to leave. Many dancers feel so bad about what they do
because of the stigma attached to the job that they don't even
tell their doctors and also have difficulty in getting bank
loans and credit cards for fear of rejection once people find
out. This makes it difficult for them to get the support they
need. |
| Socrates
- Mary - what do you miss most about the industry... if
anything? |
|
| Mary
- I miss the performances on stage the most. I miss watching
other dancers perform fabulous shows that are entertaining (even
for women to watch) I miss that the dancers are not getting paid
the appropriate amount of money for what they have to do now.
And I miss the costumes and the commodary that used to exist in
the change-rooms when all dancers were performers. |
| Marlo
- Mary - in your book you talk about making your own costumes -
could you tell some of our viewers what sort of things they can
use that they may already have around the house. |
|
| Mary
- My books suggests not only ideas on how to make your own
costumes but also how to put a whole show together by choosing
the right music or songs and how to actually set the stage. It
also talks about breaking the bedroom habit and exploring other
areas to "Play" in. Its really about having fun in a
relationship. |
|
| Don
- Twenty-one years in the business seems like a long time. I
would think that, like a hockey player, once you hit 29, you're
days are numbered. How did you last so long with young and
pretty girls coming up from the farm teams every year? |
|
| Mary
- I was lucky that I still looked good by the time I was ready
to retire (so to speak) but many times it is sad because the
older women in the industry have no other resources and it
becomes very difficult to get out of once you become addicted to
the money and the lifestyle. I chose to get out and was very
clear that it would be difficult transition. Some of these women
are not that strong. |
| KL
- I'm pretty clutzy but want to give this a try for my boy. What
are the best moves to start with, and what should I avoid? |
|
| Mary
- Simple moves like in chapter nine such as "Stir the
Pot" and "Boobs on Bob" "The Queens
Wave" and we cant forget about "Playing with your
boobs". These are very simple techniques I had to find
easy-to-remember names for them but they really work. And my
advice is this... If you forget what to do just "stir the
pot" and "play with your boobs." |
| Pam
- Did u enjoy guys watching you all the time? |
|
| Mary
- It wasn't really about men watching me all the time. It was
more about the energy that I got from entertaining on stage. I
loved it. I loved the performing and I loved that I was
entertaining and that people (mostly men) enjoyed my shows. |
| Kara
- I've never stripped before but was thinking of giving my
boyfriend a private little show in his bedroom. Do you have any
song suggestions? |
|
| Mary
- The songs would depend on what kind of costume you are
wearing. You don't want to be dressed in leather and whips and
dance to "Like a Virgin" by Madonna. You will have to
decide if you want to dance to a dominating set or something
more submissive in peaches and pastels. Chapter 7 is great for
ideas on costuming and music. |
| James
- What do you think of the guys who fall in love with strippers
and think they can save them or whatever? |
| Mary
- GET HELP! You cannot save a stripper, she probably only wants
you MONEY that is what is keeping her there. |
| Paul
- Hi Mary,
Are your pro shops like listening to a lecture or is there
interaction with our partners? |
|
| Mary
- My workshops are for women. We talk about everything mentioned
in the book i.e. fear, constant complaints, what to wear, etc
and then half way through, we actually do hands-on- learning the
moves in chapter 9 and 10. I do this for Bridal Stagettes and
Home parties (More fun than tupper ware) and through workshops.
The workshops are 3 hours and the Home Parties and Stagettes are
1 1/2 hours |
|
| Don
- Tell about the transition from a stripper to a businesswoman -
what went through your mind - what made you go into the adult
products business? Didn't you ever want to leave it all behind
and raise Jack Russels in the country? And besides knowing the
moves, is there anything you learned from stripping that helps
you as a businesswoman? Like having self-confidence? |
|
| Mary
- The transition was the most difficult part. Once I had made
the decision to exit the industry I found it hard to even think
about getting a job. What was I going to put on a resume? who
would hire me? I barely knew how to use a computer at that time.
Dancing was all I knew. I had huge support from my family once I
told them that I wanted to leave. I never wanted to raise Jack
Russels, in fact, I never even wanted pets but now I live in the
country on 1 1/4 acre property with a beautiful 8 year old
German Sheppard named Keetah. |
| JS
- I have a girlfriend who is an exotic dancer. She's been doing
it for 14 years and now wants to leave the business and pursue
something else. Do you have any suggestions on how she might
start the transition? |
|
| Mary - You
can have your girlfriend call me so that I can let her know more
details of supports that are available to her. I am the founder
of the Exotic Dancers Association of Canada and one of the
things I do is offer support to dancers that would like to leave
the industry. She can get to me through my website at
www.peelanplay.com. |
|
| Former
patron - One would expect most of the big changes in the
industry were driven by the influx of Eastern European talent
after the fall of communism. As a patron, we saw the nature of
the industry change significantly, and it wasn't just the usual
regional characteristics (ie, praries vs On). |
|
| Mary
- Absolutely! The influx of women coming in from other countries
was a huge turning point. They would do many things that our
local dancers would not and that started the demise. I could
talk about this one all day long. I worked with Immigration to
stop the flow coming in because these women were not educated
about our laws in this country and were basically under the
spell of strip club owners, pimps and agents that were
controlling them. |
| Cathy
- I'm worried that if I try to strip for my boyfriend that it
will seem amateurish and not sexy at all compared to in a strip
club. |
|
| Mary
- Again, practice, practice, practice, When you take your
clothes off and you are all by yourself. Think about "How
you do it" do you slump them onto the floor without any
regard at how it looks. Watch yourself in the mirror. If all
else fail, read the book and learn how to stir the pot and play
with your boobs. |
| Bonnie
- How difficult was it to get your book published? |
|
| Hi
Bonnie:
I was lucky because I found a great agent out of Californi and
he worked with me on this project. Once Random House read my
proposal (which took me a year to get right) They loved it! I
got a huge advance and I am working very closely with them to
promote it in every way I can. They were great. I am now
representing my agent in Toronto for any interesting, marketable
ideas for books that might be great. If you think you have a
good idea, let me know. |
| Bertha
- I am a heavy woman but still want to try something new for my
hubby. Is there anything that you can suggest that wont draw
attention to the fact that I am not svelt? |
|
| Mary
- Attitude Attitude Attitude. It doesn't matter what you look
like, it is what you FEEL like that counts. In most cases. your
partner is with you because they like your attributes. Men don't
have these self esteem problems. Its usually always women. Love
yourself for who you are and have lots of ATTITUDE! |
|
| Don
- I don't want to give my wife a heart attack if she's watching
but, can men pick up your book, Bedroom Games, and apply some
moves to treat their wives or partners on their birthdays? |
|
| Mary
- Sure men can get lots of juicy information from my book. The
Strip-a-gram chapter is lots of fun (even for a guy) to surprise
his partner on special occasions such as Valentines day or
Christmas, Birthdays etc. Just make sure you find out what kind
of mood she is in before you spring something like this on her.
READ THE BOOK! |
| Paul
- My wife has a fantasy about stripping for a roomful of men
that are getting turned on by her. What would you suggest?
Keeping it a fantasy, letting her try it or keep it in our
bedroom with your techniques? |
| Mary
- There is nothing wrong with you and your wife going to a strip
club that has amateur nights and letting her have a go at it. I
would suggest that she practice on you until she feels
comfortable. Why not? Go for it, I say. |
| Joe
- Are you aware of any times when strippers dated obviously
wealthy men just to get more money? |
| Mary
- Yes, Many dancers date wealthy men. Unfortunately, many of
them are MARRIED! Too bad! |
|
| Don
- Thank you Mary for coming in, that was great. Marys book is
Bedroom Games by Random House - Three Rivers Press . Her website
again is http://www.peelandplay.com. We look forward to your
next book about why men go to strip clubs. Thanks Again. |
|
| Mary - It
is my pleasure to be here. This was fun, love to do it again.
Everyone had some great questions and I was only to happy to
answer them honestly. It really saddens me that the industry has
deteriorated but on a happy note, I can teach women how to take
the tools of the trade that I loved so much and help make all
you men happy... AT HOME. Ciao for now,
Mary |
Show date Feb. 26, 2003
